Hands and Feet, Here is Something Good to Eat

This is the story of how I scared a Holiday Inn employee. I mean really scared him. He jumped back and screamed. And I didn’t mean to do it. But it was a natural consequence of my first great find outside the confines of the convention center. And a real tribute to the artistry of bakers like the one we treasure on Goat Hill (French's Cupcake Bakery on 17th Street, winner of many awards at the Orange County Fair.)

The kids spent the day in Sea World, as Daughter has wanted to go back there again for years now. I was sent downtown with the task of gathering intelligence on Resident Evil 6 at the XBox gaming room at the Hard Rock Hotel. I’d read about it on some website I’d found that listed the stuff outside the convention center.

Riding the shuttle bus from the Holiday Inn, staring out the window as it went past the Marriott I noticed a white pushcart. The kind street vendors sell ice cream out of. But this didn’t have a Good Humor logo on it. This one said Umbrella Corporation and had that distinctive umbrella logo. Inside were hands and feet packaged for sale. How cool is that!

Well, my daughter is a huge RE fan, so I knew I had to at least get her a picture. I figured they really weren’t selling the hands and feet; they must be rubber props, just for effect. So I hopped off the shuttle and moved against traffic as quickly as I could, past the Jesus Loves You people, and the collectors for the homeless (could they be for real, or were they fakes trying for lunch money?), and found her. The delightful woman did indeed have hands and feet in her cart. And a head as well.

And was she ever nice. Here's a picture to prove it. And she was giving the feet away. All you had to do was take a picture with her, and post it online. Like I am here.

Was I thrilled? You bet! Even more so when she explained it was really bread and you could eat it! How cool is that! My day of exploration started off better than I could ever have thought.

It got better when that afternoon the same woman spotted me by the Hard Rock Hotel and came over to offer me a hand to go with the foot. That was so nice.

Back in the hotel room, I pondered the best way to display my prizes. I decided to prop them up against the desk lamp.

I’d completely forgotten stopping by the front desk on the way to the room to tell them the desk lamp didn’t turn on. But talk about service. I hadn’t been in the room 15 minutes before there was a knock on the door by a guy there to fix the lamp.

I waived him towards the desk, and while I was closing the door I heard a scream and the sound of someone jumping. I turned around and found him staring at the lamp. The hand and foot really do look real. He calmed down when I explained what they were. But he kept an eye on me while he fixed the lamp, and hurried out when he was done.